the other side of things

January 23, 2009

There is always another side to things -
—————-

Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it. don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to20one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain…Good!

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!!! …. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa bean s! Another vegetable!!! It’s the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

AND…..

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of20fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Pablo Das teaching dates for 2009

January 15, 2009


Pablo Das teaching dates for 2009 ( For Pablo Das musical performances/shows please visit http://www.myspace.com/pablodasnyc )

 

**************

Massachusetts

FEB 20th-22nd Rowe Center, Mass.

The Path of Awakening: The Heart of the Revolution w/ Noah LevineI will be co-facilitating this retreat with Noah Levine ( author, Dharma Punx) and offering teachings on the the role that the principles of Dharma and mindfulness can play in transforming our relationship to food, substances and all that we consume. I will offer food and mindfulness practices and answer questions. I will probably also be forced to lay out some Dharma-tainment with the six string anti-style.

http://www.rowecenter.org

***

Philadelphia

April 12th (Sunday)Philly Insight ( AKA: Philadelphia Dharma Punx)

Center City

Sunday

800pm-930pm

Dhyana Yoga 1611 Walnut St 4th floor in center city Philadelphia (above American

Apparel) As always, the teachings are free, donations accepted to cover expenses

(never let money keep you away, show up anyway)

I will be the guest Teacher at the Philly insight sunday night group. 
click for more info
  

http://www.myspace.com/phillydharmapunx  

***

Massachusetts

April 24th-26th Kripalu Yoga Center. Lenox, Mass.

The Buddhist Path to Freedom: Breaking the Addiction to the Mind

Returning to Kripalu. I will also be co-facilitating this retreat ( which is slightly more centered on exploring the relationship between dharma and the 12 steps) with Noah Levine ( author, Dharma Punx) and offering teachings on the the role that the principles of Dharma and mindfulness can play in transforming our relationship to food, substances and all that we consume. I will offer food and mindfulness practices and answer questions. I will probably also be forced to lay out some Dharma-tainment with the six string, anti-style! This is a great place and event. This is not a “recovery retreat” and you do not have to be in recovery to attend or to benefit.

http://www.kripalu.org.

***

Northern California

July 8th- 15th Spirit Rock Meditation Center

7 day Mens Retreat

w/ Noah Levine and Robert Hall

This is a 7 day, mostly silent meditation retreat for men with two of my favorite men: Noah Levine and Robert Hall ( http://www.eldharma.com )

http://www.spiritrock.org

***

Los Angeles

Oct 9th-12th Buddhist Recovery Network Conference.

More info to follow.

End of the year off the sauce with Kimya Dawson.

January 3, 2009

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